My Easter Doubts

If you were in church this past Sunday you might have heard me preach about why Luke’s story of the road to Emmaus is my favorite Easter text.  For starters, the risen Jesus comes to two common, every day, unknown folk, one of whom is never even named.    Sure the women who had come with Jesus from Galilee are the first to hear of Jesus’ resurrection early that morning from two men in “dazzling clothes”, but it is Cleopas and his unnamed companion, who find themselves late in the afternoon inadvertently walking in Jesus’ presence discovering firsthand that Jesus hasn't stayed dead.  These two folk are so ordinary that we never even hear of them again.  They are like us, ordinary people struggling to keep faith alive.  That Jesus comes to them and to us is indeed good news!

Here’s what I didn’t say in Sunday's sermon and probably for good reason.   Where the gospel reading was intent on conveying how Jesus accompanies us on our journeys of doubt, confusion, and fear, our first reading in Acts (from the same author) provided a different glimpse of resurrection reality that quite frankly wears me out.

Unlike Cleopas and his companion who walk in fear and doubt, Acts tells of Peter, a post-Easter superhero of the faith, who stands with bold certitude calling all to repentance and baptism.  He’s so persuasive we’re told that 3,000 people are baptized right there on the spot!

So who would you want as your pastor?  Peter the bold-hearted with thousands of adoring fans or Cleopas the sometimes doubting, confused and fearful one?  The choice seems obvious to me.

What congregation wouldn’t snatch Pastor Peter up in a heartbeat with those kinds of statistics under his tunic?  I mean, come on 3,000 baptized in one day?   So what do we know about that other guy Cleopas?  Very little.  We know that he and his nameless companion are confused, fearful, and full of doubt.  Their hearts have been broken by the sting of death.  Their world has shattered all around them.  They stand in need of healing.

We also know what happens next.  Incognito Jesus engages them in conversation for hours without judgment and finally at the end of the day breaks bread with them, suddenly revealing that he is alive and well!  Without hesitation, these two companions make haste to get back to the other disciples, eagerly proclaiming this healing news of resurrection!  They just can’t help it  This news is too great to keep to themselves!

Both Peter and Cleopas convey good news of resurrection but in very different ways.  Yet when push comes to shove I will hang out with Cleopas over Peter any day.  Cleopas has doubts about faith.  He has fears about life.  He gets confused easily and doesn’t appear to have all the answers.  I have those days, weeks, and months too and I bet so do you.  And yet in the midst of my own doubts, God still seems to join me on the journey.

On my walk of faith, I don’t want some hot shot super-pastor placating me with clichés about how God is awesome.  I want someone to walk with me who knows something about fear and doubt. I want someone to walk with me who admits that they too don’t have all the answers.  I want someone to walk with me who acknowledges that sometimes life just sucks.  Because you know what? Sometimes it does. And yet despite my struggles, Jesus still seems to come to us doubting and confused people, breaking bread, opening eyes and making all things new for us too. 

Blessed to walk with you on the journey of joy and doubt,

Pastor Doug