Wednesday, June 10, 2015

I'm just the gardener: A reflection on ministry



I may be a pastor, but in the big picture, I’m just the gardener.   It’s taken me 21 years of ordained ministry to figure that little piece of wisdom out.  Like the sower in Jesus’ parable, I have scattered all kinds of seed over all kinds of ground.  In 21 years, I’ve served 3 congregations in 2 different states.  I’ve preached and taught; I’ve visited the sick; I’ve comforted the dying; I’ve visited the imprisoned; I’ve fed the hungry; I’ve clothed the naked – well not literally the naked.  (There are boundaries after all.)    In 21 years, I’ve rejoiced and wept with more people than I can possibly remember; I’ve been encouraged by some and had my heart broken by others.  In 21 years I’ve made brilliant decisions along with a whole bunch of “bone-headed” ones.   I’ve been an instrument of healing and have without a doubt hurt a few folks along the way as well.

In 21 years of ordained ministry, I’d like to think that most of the seeds leaving my hands have taken root and are ushering in the kingdom of God in abundance; But probably not.  I’ve never served a church where there was a waiting line to get in the building on a Sunday morning.  Nor have I ever experienced the need to provide shuttle service from satellite parking lots in order to accommodate huge church crowds.  Instead I look out over more empty pews than I’d like.  I look at old church pictorial directories and am haunted by the sizable crowds that once filled our building.  I hear stories of packed Sunday School classrooms and the need for extra chairs during Christmas and Easter worship services.  In all of this I wonder, what I’ve done wrong.
 
Maybe I should have been more careful in where I dropped the seeds.  Maybe I should have studied the chemical make-up of the soil more so that I would know where seeds do well and where they do not.  There must be a way for me to replicate growth mechanisms in seeds so that I can produce my own growth on demand.  To see the mountains of brochures that come across my desk, you’d think that would be an easy task.  Here are just a few of the “do-it-yourself” items I’ve seen over the past year that have at times added to my sense of pastoral guilt:

“How to grow a church in 3 easy steps”
“4 reasons why your church is not growing”
“5 most important church growth principles”
“6 essentials for church growth”
“7 keys to church growth”
“8 characteristics of growing churches”
“10 enemies of church growth”
“Pastors…grow your church in 10 minutes for free”   (my personal favorite)

             But as I pray about the gospel reading coming up on Sunday, Jesus seems to tell a different story.  According to Jesus, the one who casts the seeds is not the one who grows them.  (Sorry church growth experts).  In fact the seed spreader “would sleep and rise night and day, and the seed would sprout and grow, he does not know how.  The earth produces of itself” (Mark 4:27-8a).   Or as the Greek literally says, “Of its own accord the earth bears fruit”.  In other words, the sower cannot make the seed bear fruit.  It is entirely out of the gardener’s hands.

             It’s a good thing, because in 21 years of doing this ministry stuff, I’ve learned there are at least 2 things I cannot do.  I cannot create faith, nor can I attract large crowds on Sunday mornings.  And yet despite these deficits and inabilities, I see the gospel taking seed in the hearts of more and more folks as our education and outreach ministries expand.   I see seeds of faith being nurtured in our young people as they become increasingly involved in all aspects of church leadership and advocacy, while at the same time discovering the freedom to wrestle with real life questions of faith and doubt.  I see the gospel alive and well in our monthly Dinner Church gatherings as well as our emerging Pub Theology nights.  I see seeds bearing fruit in abundance as we feed the hungry and house the homeless month after month.  And all of this is God’s doing, not mine.

           God has made the seed and gives the seed the ability to bear fruit.  Not me.  I’m just the gardener; the one who is called to care and nurture the seeds.  I can do that!  And I am more than happy to let God do the rest.  It's only taken me 21 years to figure this out.

            In thankfulness for being on this journey with you in love and patience,


Pastor Doug

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